Mom, if you are reading this, I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when I "say" it out loud.
I like girls, and boys. Both of them equally, although I seem to find it easier to be in a relationship with a man. Women are too complex and emotional. But that doesn't stop me from being outrageously attracted to them.
Today at Trader Joe's, I saw a very beautiful woman. I pointed her out to Quinn as we are always open about that sort of thing. Sometimes we get caught checking out the same girl and it's a bit awkward.As her and I passed each other, she smiled at me. I blushed. Quinn encouraged me to talk to her but I couldn't do it.
We're checking out and all of a sudden the girl is behind me in line. Tall and beautiful with slightly olive skin and green eyes.
We both go to grind our coffee at the same time. I start to feel really nervous.
She says something to me but I can't remember what and I ask her where she's from because she has an accent. She's from New Zealand. Another hot Kiwi, imagine that.
She asks where I'm from and I shrug and say Miami, nothing special. And she responds with, "you're beautiful". I begin to panic. Is she flirting? Is she just nice? And then she says she noticed me in the aisle and thought I was "amazing".
Inner voice: "Gah! What!?! Uh, oh my god! You're so hot!"
Outer voice: "oh, ha, uh thank you. I was thinking the same thing about you."
Inner voice: "ok, not bad. What now?"
We talk about my arm tattoo for a moment and about the elephant on her ankle. She mentions something about getting a tattoo with a girlfriend, but I can't tell what kind of girlfriend she means. And then she's done grinding her coffee and flitters off and I'm stunned and walk outside to meet Quinn.
"How did it go?" - Quinn
"she said I was beautiful." - Me
"What? She just said that? Did you get her number?" - Quinn
What Quinn doesn't understand is that it's not that simple. I have a boyfriend. Quinn is my boyfriend. And although I know he is comfortable with my attraction to other woman, I know he would not be comfortable with me dating another woman, and neither would I. I love Quinn, I don't need more than one relationship. This one is everything I need and more.
But that doesn't mean I don't miss the feeling of another woman.
But say I did get this girl's number, and then I went on a date with her. I would have to tell her that I have a boyfriend. I can't imagine her response would be anything other than, "what the hell are you doing here then?". And then am I supposed to say, "I just want to have sex with you"?
Yeah, that's going to go over swimmingly.
My friends, it is not easy being bisexual and in a committed relationship. Notatall.
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